February 11, 2007
In May, it will be 2 years that I freed myself from the cult “Training in Power”.
I feel free and also strongly anchored in my true being again. My perspective for the conception of man and the world shifted from the minimum of the programmed 45° in this cult TIP again to the universal given 360°.
I am a full participant as a human being again on this planet and I allow my spirit to fly – as far as it wants to fly.
After I resigned I felt first like a bird, which was held prisoner in a very small cage for a decade of her life.
Could I fly right away, being out of the cult-cage after 10 years ? No!
Way too much damage and wounding had happened from way too many people in this cult to my beautiful spirit, soul and being. I haven’t had enough healthy and strong feathers left to just fly. I was just one of these cult survivors with all the typical post traumatic stress symptoms you can read about here at Diane’s site: “Lessons in Awareness”.
With the help of my wonderful friends, my beloved family and my excellent therapist I started to remember more and more, how I could fly before I have been in this cult. I remembered my original strength, my independency, my big heart filled with empathy for every living being, my ability to love, my joy and fun in my life, my humour, my curiosity and my unmovable willingness to work for betterment with dedication, passion and a profound knowledge and wisdom. And I could allow all these gifts – and much more – to govern again my life.
“We seek peace, knowing that peace is the climate of freedom” —Dwight D. Eisenhower
Seeking inner peace is the main key in my recovery. No more battles! What a relief ! No more focusing on the negativity! Wow – what a difference! I accept the reality of negativity in this world, but I won’t ever focus on it as I had to in this cult. Isn’t there this energetic / physics law – as much as we focus on something, as much it will expand?
Am I already fully recovered? NO!
And this is ok. I understand that it will take time and a lot of ongoing willingness to be very aware, at which places I am still programmed by the cult’s teachings. My goal is clear and unmovable: I want to be completely healed from any impact this founder and this cult has had in my life. And I will get there – this is no question for me anymore!
The recovery from all the emotional damage done to me, by all these human disdaining experiences of being yelled and screamed at, being put down and made wrong and sick, being publicly humiliated and degraded, being badly spoken about behind my back, having had my reputation destroyed behind my back and having been called an “attacker”, because I spoke up and wanted to help to get an awareness of incorrect dynamics within this group —— all this traumatizing damage is also not fully healed yet … it is too deep – too harmful – too hurtful. And the day will come, that I will be also fully recovered from these real attacks in my life!
Remember: This founder, who is still treating lots of her students as I got treated, will save the world — thank you very much- I am not interested! I will not even start to imagine how the world would be, if this cult leader would have the dominion …I suggest that all the leaders, eldest and ministers of this cult go first now back in the kindergarten (editors note: an expression used in the training by Faye to say that in level 6 you are still in kindergarten) to start again with the life-school. In each kindergarten you will find more respect, tolerance, the freedom of speech, the acceptance of different opinions and co-creation as in this cult.
Respect is back in my life. It is eye opening and amazing to realize that respect is a very natural and very important standard for so many people / communities in this world. Even for people who don’t have any education, training or any interest in spiritual teachings – but they would always stand up for a genuine respect towards each other in any situation. How powerful and healthy!
“None are so hopelessly enslaved as those, who falsely believe they are free”—Goethe
I am still thinking sometimes of all these good and beautiful people / friends, who are still caught in this cult. These moments are saddening. I wish all of them well – and I hope the day will come, at which they will start to awake.
Can I fly now – almost 2 years after I regained my freedom? YES !!!
I am flying again. I have again enough strong feathers – I can therefore follow again my own destiny. My spirit can fly…and fly, wherever it wants to go – and also stop whenever wanted. My eyes and my heart are open again for the beauty, the brilliance and the sweetness in myself, in people around me and also in this world. Freedom is back in my life !
“Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of man and so it must be daily earned and refreshed – else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die” —Dwight D. Eisenhower