Open Letter to Faye Fitzgerald

By Christiane

Hi Faye, this is Christiane, Germany

This is the 1st open letter to you from me

I haven’t heard from you after I represented the German community resignation and my personal one as an addition at the 21st of May at the joint Board retreat. Not that I am surprised. I never got called by you in these 9 years in which I replaced and represented you and your work here absolutely alone in Germany. No matter what was going on, nothing could ever motivate you to call me as the one here who took care in service = full time job of everybody and everything. As you know, your work is very demanding and challenging for any student. Obviously nobody and nothing was ever important enough for you to use the phone and to express words of encouragement and loyalty in difficult time, or words of compassion and understanding in painful times, or just words of interest to hear what’s going on here, or just a “Happy New Year” to your German community. Nothing. Ever.

Isn’t this interesting? Even after I had spoken with you about this several times, nothing changed. I guess you will be the only leader in the world, who is treating their so committed and dedicated persons in leading positions with such an arrogance and ignorance. At least I hope that there will be only one in this world.

Your set up is perceived by me as a very clever one. You certainly know how to make money. To combine a personal profit business as a spiritual teacher, who is offering courses for very good money, with a non profit organisation, which has the subtitle: “A spiritual journey in service” is almost brilliant. Instead of the need to hire people for all the work, which you can not manage alone in your business, everybody is obligated by the set ups of your system to participate as volunteers – in service. Sure, you are telling the students, it will help them tremendously to build their so important muscles – and also to prepare themselves for their own education in various important positions within the community.

It is fascinating to experience and to watch these great carrots and explanations, which only benefit one bank account – yours. Are you aware, how much money you would have to invest for all the employees you would need to keep your system running as you set it up, if you (and not the members and the organisation as practised now as first steps in some areas) would pay everybody fairly based on the market prices – means, if you would have set up your profit business in the usual way? Am I allowed to even say: in the correct way?

It is time to count and to get an awareness Faye.

Your focus is still on exposing the truth of any kind of abuse, right? Well, with this letter I will begin once again (after uncountable attempts in these 9 years) to help to expose the truth of abuse within TIP. And I just exposed the first one. The official set ups from you and the organisations are human distaining from my view of things and therefore highly abusive. The work in service is taken for granted and not even honoured, appreciated and thanked for by you, who has the only big benefit of all this work in service by not having to hire persons for all this work.

I am wondering, how you can be with yourself with such set up as a spiritual person – but esp. as a spiritual teacher, who is using ( abusing?) the student body to get everything done without any payment. And I don’t care anymore. You need to look at yourself in the mirror each day, if you do this at all… do you? I did everything I could in these 9 years to help you and the Boards to understand the incorrectness of these set ups, which got now confirmed by lawyers, as you know very well. Did you tell your students, that at least in two countries your set ups are legally not accepted?

I am sure, you did not. I assume, as always the membership will be not informed about the full truth and the Boards will now find solutions with you, which benefit you again. The results then will be certainly presented to the membership in a very clear and charming way as the only and the best way to deal with some problems, which came up. Bla, bla, bla – there is no equal involvement of problem resolving processes with the members within this organisation.

Speaking about the membership I want once again to question, why in NA you need to be in level VI to be a voting and an active member. I experience this as a highly manipulative and controlling decision, counting on, that with level VI the students are enough “trained” (= manipulated?, brain washed?) to act in your interest, or at least to follow your guidance. Why else shouldn’t all the members at least from level II on have a right as adults to vote and to participate actively within their own organisation? Some of these younger level students are older than you and some are more professional trained as you and the older levels and the leadership. I am sure, they will have great inputs.

Why are they kept like children, who have first to grow up once again in their lives – like going again through puberty – till they are in level VI before they are allowed to vote and to become a board member, if there is not a hidden agenda involved? Nothing else makes really sense, or? Everybody can notice how many board members are resigning in short time periods, even as older levels. So, what is the difference, if younger levels would say after 1 or 2 or 3 years: enough for me as an active Board member? There will be obviously no difference.

The only difference is that they are not yet involved in the beginning of the “big story”, which starts in level VI. From here on the teacher – student relationship shifts in a big way!!! I am very, very concerned that a hidden agenda from you Faye dominated the decision, to only allow level VI and up to vote and to be able to become a board member. I certainly will do some more researches by asking the ones, who were at the very first Boards and who made these decisions together with you. I will report more about this then in the future.

And by announcing this, I want to clarify, that with this letter I am only starting to write about the discovered truth of abuse, which I and so many others had so painfully to experience within TIP.

For today there is one more urgent point to bring forward.

How is Sensei? ( Faye’s wolf-dog) How often have you accused people for attacking Sensei and making him very sick? Even by naming these attacking persons behind their backs? How often was the whole community, including myself, in deep concern regarding Sensei, sending him and you “tons” of light and energetic support to go through another crisis? I just love Sensei and you have witnessed, while I was staying with you at your place, that we two had a very unique, beautiful and loving contact to each other.

It is with an extreme righteous anger I am coming forward now, to let everybody know, that it is reported to me by very trustworthy persons that you Faye had beaten up Sensei continuously with your fists in your not controllable rage. It is reported by one person, that you started this already, when he was still a puppy. This person thought, you are going to kill your Sensei by the amount of rage and heavy, heavy hits he had to take already as a baby. I have heard then, that you still had beaten him up as long as you have lived in Auburn, which is not too long ago.

How often have I and all of us been asked to support him, because he got attacked and is not doing well, because in truth you had beaten him up?????? How often ???????

Are you aware, that even animals have a healthy pride and dignity, which gets destroyed by beating them up??? Letting them pay for something humans are not willing to get help for themselves – like a not accountable, controllable rage??? It is called soul-murder, whenever a living being gets broken and violated in its dignity. The worst case is, to steal the dignity!!!! No matter, whether it is a human being or an animal! We are all one! Are you aware?

It looks “so good” to everybody – to the outside, how you are with Sensei. As so often in an abusive scenario for so many kids, animals and even adults!

I am sure, you in NA will have laws in place as we do in Germany to protect animals for any harm. I will do researches. I am after this now Faye – in a ruthless way. The exposure of the truth of abuse does not stop because it is about you Faye. It is time, to expose experienced abuse by you as ruthless as you always demanded it. Let us focus now on you, after you had focused on everybody else in all these years, but never on yourself.

I am sure you don’t mind, that I am writing about this without coming back to you first. I just “copy” or “clone” your style, which you must like, otherwise it wouldn’t be your style. My difference is still that I am doing it openly, because I personally don’t like your style of acting, influencing, ruining personal reputations and attacking behind the back of so many of your students.

I have much more to share and to expose and I will continue to do this in the near future by using this link: open letters to Faye

ONLY IN TRUTH WE CAN HEAL! And this is a true statement in level I! I am still following this teaching of you Faye – never mind whether this is yours or a “stolen” one, like most of the meditational techniques in level I, as we can proof it now with very sad hearts. None of us ever thought that we as teachers have been so betrayed by you, Faye. It is a BIG one.

ONLY IN TRUTH WE CAN HEAL – is a true statement. From whomever it comes.

2nd open letter to Faye Fitzgerald from Christiane, Germany

“If you want contact to me you need to be nice to me” …”very nice”.  This is a statement from the founder and teacher Faye Fitzgerald to me, the ex-executive director in Germany, trying to inform her about serious developments within the ex-German community.

My hair goes still up reconnecting to this statement. Doesn’t this sound like the abuser’s voice speaking to a child? “If you want contact to me you need to be nice to me”….”very nice”.  

Whatever “nice” means for you Faye, it is interesting, that you are asking for it, being the one who continuously rages at people and causes so much harm for so many persons. Treat others as you want to be treated Faye. Don’t be astounded that so many people get so angry at you in your life. It is a sign of health to not accept such treatments and to express righteous anger, if the dignity gets violated. It is a sign of severe damage, active wounding and sincere dependency to you to be quiet and acceptant, if your emotional abusive behaviour hits the Self or others. Or even in the worst case to be thankful for such a disrespectful treatment, which you personally would not ever accept for yourself.

“You do not lead by hitting people over the head – that’s assault, not leadership”.
—Dwight D. Eisenhower

Who are you? Who do you think you are? Does it feel good to control the masses with your rage? Do you feel powerful because of this? Why are you not taking finally responsibility and get immediate professional help for all your unresolved personal dynamics? How many more students need to go through despair, hurt and harm because of your not controllable rage and all these disgusting projections you are putting on them, because you are unwilling to acknowledge in a responsible way your own horrific damage?

What does it take, that you will start to look at yourself, to get professional help and to stop to blame always the other? Do you realise how many persons tried very hard in so many years to support you by giving you honest feed backs, so that you can get an awareness of the impact of your harmful behaviour and your disrespectful, humiliating and degrading style for others? Will you ever be able to perceive such feed backs as a loving support instead of attack? Do you realize, what your world picture of constant attack has done to you?

“Battle not with monsters lest ye become a monster and if you gaze into the abyss the abyss gazes into you.” —Friedrich Nietzsche

When and how will this ever stop? Each time you hurt another, you are hurting yourself.
LOVE OF THE SELF is the answer. And this is only possible if you hold the focus constantly on the Self instead exclusively on the others. I hope you will learn soon to be nice to yourself…very nice…., whatever this means for you. It takes you. Nobody else. It takes only you.

No matter how much you are demanding, how people have to be with you. No matter how much you abuse your power to make critical healthy student- rebels wrong, small, sick with the intend to break them, because they don’t function as you want it. No matter how many terrible accusations you are spreading out behind their backs, ruining their reputations. No matter how much you are judging now the ones, who get finally active to expose their experiences within TIP – esp. with you and the leadership – publicly. No matter how many disgusting words and expressions you will use to put once again those down, who use their freedom of speech – the freedom of sharing – the freedom of exposure.

“The only way to make sure people you agree with can speak is to support the rights of people you don’t agree with” —Eleanor Holmes Norton

Calling them “terrorists” with “conscious evil intend” because they use their civil rights to help to get an awareness of all the incorrect and abusive dynamics within TIP is only a deep confirmation for all the concerns, which are already publicly shared. Much more will come.

“So long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrannize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sleeping men”.  —Voltaire

You and the leadership are only outing yourself. And this is actually very helpful for the full exposure of your dynamics of control, manipulation and degrading disrespect towards anybody who is open, honest and free of your influence and dominion.


“Freedom is like taking a bath —you keep doing it”   Florynce Kennedy